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Topless tart gets fiesty over Net download record

Worried about Nora Batty no doubt

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The battle over the most downloaded woman on the Internet has got hotter with American slapper Danni Ashe declaring her claim to the throne and dissing other international wannabes. Danni takes this very seriously as you can see from her Web site which lists how many times more downloaded she is over every other woman in the world.

Cindy Margolis? Pah! Our Danni is 15 times more "bigger" than her, according to danni.com (we've seen the pictures and reckon 1.6 tops). Britney Spears? Better, but no cookie. Danni is 2.9 times more a woman than she is. Bizarrely Oprah Winfrey is closer with 2.7 times. But the nearest is Carol Cox at just 1.5 times smaller (who the hell is Carol Cox? A "famous Internet amateur/swinger who has been online since 1995").

So what sparked this controversy and caused even BusinessWire to write a piece about her? The upshot Australians with their Sarah Jane and us in Blighty with the far superior Nora Batty (aka actress Kathy Staff).

The Aussies has been making a hullabaloo about how Sarah Jane will break the Guinness Book of Records on 1 August by being the most downloaded woman in a day (70,000 downloads they're after, and they promise some saucy snaps to entice you).

Danni don't like this, so she's gone to the press saying: "There's been a great deal of misinformation and confusion I'd like to clear up for everyone's benefit [whose benefit exactly?]. Guinness World Records is currently refusing to award new 'download' titles due to their self-confessed inability to measure Web site statistics. I've put them in touch with three highly respected independent third parties, but they don't seem ready to move forward in this area."

Apart form being a bit of a loon, Danni has a certain kind of dirty appeal that can always guarantee a wide audience. She's certainly not shy. Sarah Jane on the other hand goes for the more refined sauce element of society. And as for Nora Batty, well, she stands miles apart from the competition through her realistic and unconquerable womanhood.

Danni has every right to be worried. Especially if Nora runs into her.

If you want to see Danni's obsessive protectionism go here. ®

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