Feeds

Captain Cyborg plans to build a better bionic nose

You can sniff out the bullshit better...

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

Sci-fi fantasist Kevin Warwick, aka Captain Cyborg, now reckons that due to his unique grasp of cybernetics he can improve the efficiency of your nose.

The Prof made his latest lunatic claim on a recent sticky fingers tour of Ireland. A Reg reader heard him guffing on the radio programme Morning Ireland. Using pacemakers as the launch pad, he mentioned that one of his "groundbreaking" experiments in November will be to improve the human nose.

Of course, he failed to explain how he was actually going to pull this off [pull what off? Are you sure about this? - Ed]. Probably because he hasn't got a clue. Sounds good though.

And would you Adam and Eve it, the military are interested in Kev's research. No, really, they are - Kev said so. According to our reader, the presenter was giving the interview a heavy dose of irony but Kev - who almost believes himself these days - was blind to it.

Off he went on various other journeys into the bizarre and mad before ending with his swansong, the telepathy sex chip in him and his wife. But would you believe it? They ran out of time before Kev could explain how it was actually going to work.

Tch. Maybe next time, huh? ®

Related Stories

Captain Cyborg infects Ireland
Lunatic pulls gun on Captain Cyborg
Captain Cyborg goes on a lecture tour
Kevin Warwick wanders into Reg territory
Captain Cyborg back on the BBC
Captain Cyborg: I'm embarrassed to speak
Captain Cyborg's media monkey business back
No! No! No! Captain Cyborg is back

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.