I am Canadian and I do not suck!
Colonial clubs entire world + dog
We battled-hardened journos at Vulture Central are used to a bit of abuse, but never before has Pran 'The Man' Oza - Reg adsales supremo - been the victim of a vicious verbal flame assault.
Suffice it to say, he was last seen outside the Pitcher and Piano, spritzer in hand, attempting to set fire to the Canadian flag. Here's why:
I think "the register" sucks. The following people at the register suck particularly bad, and the reasons for why will follow... tim & pranav.. for putting all those really freaking stupid ads all over the place.. like that ugly "This is not an Advert" ad that's always on the left of my browser window. I also think that tim* sucks because the stupid page reloads every bloody time I resize the damn window in Nutscrape. Nutscrape sucks because it can't seem to get it's shit together better than Interfret Exploder. IE sucks because it's better than Nutscrape and it has no friggin right to be better than anything due to being a Microscrotum product. Which incidentally is what the editors* all suck for allowing this.
The reporters too suck. I bet they wish they were sucking cider or ale or whatever you damn english* call Beer, but you aren't. Why you ask? Because they are too busy sucking at other stuff. What that is right now I don't want to even guess at, but I know it's not good. It can't in fact be good because the whole world earth* knows the english* just plain suck. If it weren't for us Canadian bailing them out time after time through history they would be sucking a whole lot worse... I know, everybody says it was the americans* that bailed out the english in ww2, but the americans suck to much to be able to do that..
The americans on staff suck too, not for any other reason than they are americans, but that is enough for them to really suck! america, they think they're all big and proud and they say they never lost a war. Well they DID damnit! Canada is the only country that has EVER kicked the american's ass in a declared war, and they did declare war on us. Know what we did? We kicked thier asses back through thier capital and burned thier precious whitehouse to the ground.. then we used the burnt planks to build a really comfy outhouse.. wanted to call the the whiteout-house, but is was more a charcoal color. So the americans suck too!
In fact, anyone who is not Canadian SUCKS! all you non canucks should start a website.. ISUCK.COM and just list your names on it. And you register hacks* can put your names at the top, then list off that damn monarch* you have as well... maybe that's what you all suck.. monarch! This year in a couple of days there is going to be the largest beer suck in the history of man as the Canada flag turns 50, and anyone who doesn't like that SUCKS!
And they all don't just suck any old thing.. they suck that particularly nasty green slimy crap that grows on the bottom of the gravel im my fishtank that I can never seem to get rid of.. IT SUCKS TOO!!! SO SUCK ON THAT!! I AM CANADIAN, AND I DO NOT SUCK!
* - lower case denoting a lack of respect
Well, it's always nice to see a seal clubber get a bit feisty. I'm sure that our international readership will take 'CodeTrap' to task for his slanderous outrages.
Oh, by the way, Tim does not deal with ads, bless 'im.
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