Feeds

I am Canadian and I do not suck!

Colonial clubs entire world + dog

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Build a business case: developing custom apps

We battled-hardened journos at Vulture Central are used to a bit of abuse, but never before has Pran 'The Man' Oza - Reg adsales supremo - been the victim of a vicious verbal flame assault.

Suffice it to say, he was last seen outside the Pitcher and Piano, spritzer in hand, attempting to set fire to the Canadian flag. Here's why:

I think "the register" sucks. The following people at the register suck particularly bad, and the reasons for why will follow... tim & pranav.. for putting all those really freaking stupid ads all over the place.. like that ugly "This is not an Advert" ad that's always on the left of my browser window. I also think that tim* sucks because the stupid page reloads every bloody time I resize the damn window in Nutscrape. Nutscrape sucks because it can't seem to get it's shit together better than Interfret Exploder. IE sucks because it's better than Nutscrape and it has no friggin right to be better than anything due to being a Microscrotum product. Which incidentally is what the editors* all suck for allowing this.

The reporters too suck. I bet they wish they were sucking cider or ale or whatever you damn english* call Beer, but you aren't. Why you ask? Because they are too busy sucking at other stuff. What that is right now I don't want to even guess at, but I know it's not good. It can't in fact be good because the whole world earth* knows the english* just plain suck. If it weren't for us Canadian bailing them out time after time through history they would be sucking a whole lot worse... I know, everybody says it was the americans* that bailed out the english in ww2, but the americans suck to much to be able to do that..

The americans on staff suck too, not for any other reason than they are americans, but that is enough for them to really suck! america, they think they're all big and proud and they say they never lost a war. Well they DID damnit! Canada is the only country that has EVER kicked the american's ass in a declared war, and they did declare war on us. Know what we did? We kicked thier asses back through thier capital and burned thier precious whitehouse to the ground.. then we used the burnt planks to build a really comfy outhouse.. wanted to call the the whiteout-house, but is was more a charcoal color. So the americans suck too!

In fact, anyone who is not Canadian SUCKS! all you non canucks should start a website.. ISUCK.COM and just list your names on it. And you register hacks* can put your names at the top, then list off that damn monarch* you have as well... maybe that's what you all suck.. monarch! This year in a couple of days there is going to be the largest beer suck in the history of man as the Canada flag turns 50, and anyone who doesn't like that SUCKS!

And they all don't just suck any old thing.. they suck that particularly nasty green slimy crap that grows on the bottom of the gravel im my fishtank that I can never seem to get rid of.. IT SUCKS TOO!!! SO SUCK ON THAT!! I AM CANADIAN, AND I DO NOT SUCK!

* - lower case denoting a lack of respect

Well, it's always nice to see a seal clubber get a bit feisty. I'm sure that our international readership will take 'CodeTrap' to task for his slanderous outrages.

Oh, by the way, Tim does not deal with ads, bless 'im.

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay
Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
Check your Clungene, Irish women warned
Have a quick shufti, you may not be pregnant after all
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Solving today's distributed Big Data backup challenges
Enable IT efficiency and allow a firm to access and reuse corporate information for competitive advantage, ultimately changing business outcomes.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.