Feeds

Reg hack in online poll rigging scandal

McCarthy indulges in some 'creative accounting'

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

The Vulture Centre Internal Affairs Department launched an investigation over the weekend after detecting serious anomalies in Kieren McCarthy's Do you want to know who Gharlane of Eddore is? online poll.

McCarthy had decided to leave the tricky question as to whether to reveal the true identity of Usenet legend Gharlane to you, the readers. This all seems reasonable enough. But note the wording which precedes the poll buttons:

We have therefore decided to leave the decision as to whether we reveal Gharlane's real-life identity to you the readers. Below are three buttons, for "no interest", "yes, reveal", and "no, don't".

Whichever of these three is the most popular by Monday morning, we will follow. Note that the "No interest" button corresponds to not revealing his identity. Choice is yours.

In fact, there are effectively only two choices available. Hitting "No interest" registers as a no vote. Nicely done.

Why stop there? What about those who read the story and did not vote at all? Clearly they have "no interest". Let's add those figures to the no vote, shall we? Then we have all of those people who read the Register and chose not to read the story - no interest whatsoever. Add those figures. And why not, while we're about it, add the entire popluation of planet earth who have not even read the Reg and have clearly therefore indicated that they too have "no interest".

The bottom line is then, that unless at least 2.5 billion of you vote to reveal Gharlane's identity, the whole thing is a foregone conclusion. Oh dear, oh dear.

The normal punishment for such a serious breach of the Vulture Central online poll regulations is an afternoon in the stocks. In the circumstances, however, we have decided to let you have the final word. Should the young whippersnapper pay for his crimes, or should we fill our hearts with clemency? Vote here:

To be frank, I don't give two hoots what happens to him.
Yes, please throw McCarthy in the stocks with my blessing.
No, he's suffered enough already. Leave the lad alone.

Please note that we will count all votes as we see fit and the outcome of the poll depends entirely on how we feel on the matter come tommorrow morning. ®

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.