Feeds

Vulture terrorises UK

Nothing to do with us, honest

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

A rogue vulture has provoked fear and panic in a sleepy Norfolk village. The Ruppell's vulture descended yesterday without warning on idyllic Happisburgh, taking up residence on the church tower.

The fearsome beast - wingspan eight feet - had escaped from Banham zoo fifty miles away. Experts are now faced with the task of recapturing the monster. This may prove difficult.

The Ruppell's vulture is the world's highest-flying bird, and can soar to an impressive 37,000ft. Zoo workers hope to trap the avian tearaway by attracting it with fresh carrion. In the meantime, people have been warned not to approach or feed the vulture for fear of 'stressing it out'. Bless.

A Vulture Central internal investigation has confirmed that none of the Reg hacks was involved in the breakout. Nevertheless, there was general approval here this morning for the bird's bid for freedom. Cries of 'go on my son', and 'respect', were heard above the day-to-day banal chit-chat eminating from the Reg typing pool.

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.