Feeds

Reg faces blasphemy charge

Praise the Lord or face the consequences

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Remote control for virtualized desktops

Well, you know you've arrived when the God Squad starts waving bibles at you. This missive arrived this morning at Vulture Central. We haven't got the faintest idea what it's about, but ignorance is no excuse.

----- Original Message -----
From: Net Authority Investigations
To: The Register
Sent: Thursday, June 21, 2001 7:51 AM
Subject: Notification of Internet Violations

Dear The Register,

It has recently been brought to our attention that you are, or have been, in violation of the Net Authority Acceptable Internet Usage Guidelines. It has been reported that you distribute offensive materials over the Internet.

Net Authority has investigated these claims by checking your webpage at http://www.theregister.co.uk and verified that they are true.

As a result, your personal information has been added to one or more Net Authority Internet offender databases. Your information will be stored in the databases until enough evidence has been gathered against you to warrant further actions. To help avoid such a situation, it is strongly recommended that you cease your immoral actions on the Internet at once.

You have been added to the following databases:
- General Blasphemy Offenders

If you would like more information about Net Authority or the Net Authority Acceptable Internet Usage Guidelines, you may read the details at http://www.netauthority.org/. It is imperative that you fully understand the guidelines if you wish to avoid further prosecution.

While the individual who reported your actions to us will remain anonymous, he or she wished to pass these words on to you:

"The Register is a very blasphemous site."

May God be with you as you struggle to overcome these evil impulses. You will be in our prayers at night.

God speed,

Net Authority Investigations Department

Ho ho, very droll. But, is that it? 'The Register is a very blasphemous site'? Don't we get some sort of certificate to put next to our ABCe figures? After all, eternal damnation is all very well and good, but you can't hang in on the wall, can you? Scrub the prayers - we want our certificate.

Bootnote

Further information on these apparently self-righteous and self-appointed guardians of net morality can be found at here. Have fun.

For the record, we have fallen foul of the following clause of Net Authority's 'Acceptable Internet Usage Guidelines':

General Blasphemy
Blasphemic content is any material that is seen as sin through the eyes of our Lord. It is expected that all Internet users familiarize themselves with The Bible. Ignorance is no excuse! If you are involved with the distribution of, or obtain in any fashion material that is considered offensive, then you are in violation of the NA-AIUG.

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.