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Labour is to send its second and last election text message tomorrow - just one day before the general election.

It reads: "d:*0 WUCIWUG #:-0 VTE LBR 2MORO".

The last bit is pretty obvious - Vote Labour tomorrow - but what the hell is the bit in front? Well, like all emoticons, you'll have to look at it from the side.

Obvious now, isn't it? Yes, it's William Hague in his embarrassing Notting Hill carnival baseball cap. The star is used to say someone is a bit merry or drunk and the "0" an open mouth. Then WUCIWUG is "what you see is what you get" (you may have got that bit). And the last emoticon is a shocked face.

While this is all marvellous and shows that New Labour is really in touch with the kids man, what is it actually saying? Nothing. And if you compare this with yesterday's text message "Couldn't give a XXXX for last orders? Vote Labour on Thursday for extra time", there is a distinctive thread.

Yes, the Labour government seems to think that all young people are pissheads and the only way to get their vote is to appeal through more beer and laugh at people that are drunk. Proof, if it were needed, that the Labour media machine has turned to Tony Blair's son to advise them on text messaging language. ®

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