AOL ‘aim’ suit way off target

And Reg 'ster' registration stirs it up

AOL wins rights to Aimster domain name
Register trademarks 'ster'

Matt Grinsteinner will rue the day that he ever sent the following email:

I've been reading the recent articles about AOL's 'AIM' suit and The Register trying to control all of the 'ster' names and was wondering this: What about www.aimster.com, or any domain name containing 'AIM' and 'STER'?

Who would get the rights to that? Would AOL since it's property comes first? Could a suit be filed between The Register and AOL for lawsuit rights? A lawsuit over the rights to file a lawsuit. Ain't this world great?

I'd like to see some quick write up that mocks the ability to copyright certain things, for instance Pat Riley copyrighting 'Three-peat'/'3peat' when the Chigaco bulls won 2 championships in a row and was aiming for thier third. Oh crap, I used the word 'aiming'. Damn - I suppose I'm going to have to pay the almighty AOL masters some sort of usage fee now. Oh crap, I did it again. I used the word 'masters'. I'm going to go broke typing this email...

Actually, it's worse than that. As of 2.00pm BST today, the Reg controls the following words: "a", "to", "all", "of", "some", "I", "we", "you", "they", "over" and "crap". We have also acquired a controlling interest in the lexicons of both Armenian and Uzbeck, as well as a minority shareholding in several obscure Romance dialects. Furthermore, we own "mattgrinsteinner.com" and all its variations, including .co.uk, .com.uk, .net, .org, .tv, .biz, etc. Accordingly, you will be billed $17,430.23 for use of registered vocabulary in your email. Furthermore, you will soon be contacted by a mate of ours from WIPO who will demand that you desist in using your own name in bad faith. We are pleased to offer you a new identity (for a modest fee) from our affiliate weruntheentireworldsojustshowusthemoney.com. Thankyou.

Now, what about this trademarking malarkey? Phil can see the the shadow of the Witchfinder General looming large over the whole thing:

You must be joking right, I sense cynism in your words but I gotta know, are you seriously backing the second largest "monopoly" on the planet! This kind of published media is the same thing that starts witch hunts. pretty soon I can see people being asked to drop coins into a can to use words like "the" and "and". Yeah maybe AOL does have a right to defend its intellectual property and of course its copywritten materials, but this is nothing but a giant buggering a little guy, BECAUSE IT CAN! I have a ton of colorful metaphors that I can use for AOL, but I will refrain for the sake of grace.

In my opinion AOL is a content provider for the technically lame, and has gotton rich off the ignorance of others, but this is a rip. Screw AOL and to the people who their screwing, My hopes and prayers are with them.

Oh dear, oh dear. We can feel a graphic coming on:

Missed the point, didn't you?


Yes, we all know what this means, don't we? Phil, you are advised to visit our partner senseofhumor.com, where - upon credit card payment of $999.99 - you can download a sense of humour. Do it now - you need it.

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