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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

DIY supershed B&Q is not content with positively vetting job applicants with its telephone virtual interview system. No. The company has now decided to allow its hi-tech cyberpersonnel department to sack people it has already employed.

Carl Filer, 18, failed B&Q's "personality profile" telephone test, after he had already worked at the company's Bournemouth branch for less than a week.

The branch manager, desperate for punters to fill an immediate workforce hole, put Carl straight to work, and even threatened to promote the likely lad to the heady heights of the checkouts.

Unfortunately, Carl's manager had not yet subjected his star employee to B&Q's 'Big Brother' phone vetting process. In short, he had employed the bloke using his own primitive intuitive faculties. These subsequently proved inadequate.

Although he had already secured employment, B&Q supremos insisted that Carl nevertheless undergo their telephonic grilling. Suitably bored and unimpressed, Carl failed the test. He was then sacked.

Quite right too. It is only to be hoped that other companies follow B&Q's lead in replacing irrational human judgement with pure machine calculation. ®

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