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Hi-tech toilet swallows woman

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A 51-year-old woman was yesterday subjected to a harrowing two-hour ordeal when she was imprisoned in a hi-tech public convenience.

Maureen Shotton, from Whitley Bay, was captured by the maverick cyberloo during a shopping trip to Newcastle-upon-Tyne. The toilet, which boasts state-of-the-art electronic auto-flush and door sensors, steadfastly refused to release Maureen, and further resisted attempts by passers-by to force the door.

Maureen was finally liberated when the fire brigade ripped the roof off the cantankerous crapper.

Maureen's terrifying experience confirms that it is a short step from belligerent bogs to Terminator-style cyborgs hunting down and exterminating mankind. ®

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