Feeds

May the false declaration be with you

The Census Return of the Jedi

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

If you've ever harboured a secret desire to dress up in a brown robe and run around brandishing a light sabre - and claim the whole lot against tax as liturgical paraphernalia, now's you chance. On Sunday 29 April would-be Jedi Knights have a rare opportunity to achieve official recognition for their 'religion'.

The date marks a UK census, and Star Wars aficionados are clogging up the Net urging fellow fans to declare their religion as 'Jedi.' They claim that if 10,000 people sign up, the Government will be forced to recognise Jedi as a legitimate faith.

It all looks good on paper. However, it's not that simple. A spokesman for the Home Office confirmed that although the principle is sound, there's a bit more to setting up your own church than turning up with a box load of signatures. He would not elaborate on what extra measures might be required, noting that the formal recognition of the Jedi religion was "not something the Government wished to be drawn on".

A spokesman for the UK Census agreed with his Home Office colleague, scotching hopes of British skies filled with X-Wing fighters. "This is supposed to be a serious question," he sighed.

Neither have the Obi-wan Kenobi wannabes thought through the possible downsides to their plan. What happens if 10,000 Darth Vaders declare themselves for the 'Dark Side'? Would it be possible for the two churches to live together in harmony? No chance. It's only a matter of time before some unrepentent Luke Skywalker ends up tied to a stake on the village green with Darth Maul lighting a bunch of faggots under him.

If you still fancy signing up as a Jedi, the form should be dropping onto your doormat any day now. The government has some census details here. May the force be with you. ®

Bootnote

For the benefit of our US readers, in England, a 'faggot' is a bundle of sticks popularly used for burning witches and heretics, and not what you thought we meant.

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.