Gizmo fetishists with an inexplicable urge to fiddle with their home AC controls remotely via a WAP phone or a PC are bound to delight in Carrier's announcement of its new Web-connected 'smart' air conditioners.

"For customers of all types, from dealers and installers through facilities managers to commissioning engineers, this new technology is designed to enable them to have the appropriate level of control of the equipment concerned and, potentially, access to all information about it. Unit performance and maintenance information over time can be gathered and recorded," the company chirps.

Puzzled service flakes will also be able to use the system to help them diagnose mechanical problems (which they ought to have been trained to handle in the first place, but we digress).

The machine will even be able to ring for help on its own, just in case the owner is too stupid to perceive that it's on the fritz.

Thus "alarm functions of all types will be able to be set and communicated via the Internet. If a parameter is exceeded or a malfunction is indicated, the appropriate contact is made via the mobile phone by the unit itself," the company boasts.

Carrier omits mention of the rich comic potential inherent when a hacker with a taste for practical jokes gets hold of one's password, but we've every confidence that our beloved readers' imaginations will round that bit out nicely.

The new gizmos will be test marketed in Europe this year, if anyone actually cares. ®