Microsoft not responsible for foot and mouth
IE is not vector of killer plague
Microsoft's Internet Explorer is not responsible for the spread of the foot and mouth virus, according to a recent report from Satirewire. 
Scientists have expressed understandable surprise at the findings, although the response of UK Agriculture Minister Nick Brown was rather one of relief: "Up until now we have, quite naturally, assumed that both foot-and-mouth and mad cow were spread by Microsoft Outlook. By eliminating it, we can focus our resources elsewhere," he said.
The news will likewise be welcomed in Seattle, where frantic suits have been running around like headless chickens at the prospect of enormous funeral pyres of Microsoft products. ®