# British, American scientists discover Gelsinger co-efficient

## Thermal mystery solved

**Competition** British and American scientists have succeeded in discovering one of the most elusive technical challenges in semiconductor science: the Gelsinger co-efficient. The Gelsinger co-efficient is the point at which Intel's VP Pat Gelsinger overheats. Usually in mid-keynote.

The breakthrough could pave the way for cooler, more reliable keynotes in the future.

The scientists are all *Register* readers, and responded to our appeal to solve the mystery once and for all. As an added incentive - as if being remembered alongside Fermat and Newton isn't enough - we offered a *Reg* baseball cap to the most creative formula.

The standard of research here was impressive. Pete Freeman from Leeds thought this formula could explain the thermals:-

### E=MC^2

Where:-

**E** = Energy (heat)

**M** = MegaHurtz

**C** = Copyright Protection

Right formula, wrong variables Peter, so no cigar, but a consolation prize awaits if you want to get in touch. Matt Collins actually provided the proof:-

Given E=MC^2, it is easy to calculate G:

**C is the speed of light. This is well known to be produced by the Sun (S). Intel (I) is in the same business as Sun. Therefore S must be equal to I, which is equal to C.**

**M is the amount of matter in the Universe. By definition, this must be greater than the amount of matter in Intel (M > I). G, therfore, is be the point when I grows to reach M, causing the heat death of the Universe (by sucking all the energy from the Universe into the first Pentium XVII no doubt), leaving S in its wake.**

**So, to conclude:**

**If E=MC^2, then G = S/(MC^2) if S/I is >= E**

Brilliant. The prize is shared Dr John Moffett who dates the problem back to the earlier Gelsinger Paradox. Take it away:-

**The problem of heat dissipation in microprocessors, known as the Gelsinger Paradox, has resisted analysis due to a lack of formal treatment. Here I present a formal analysis of the Gelsinger Paradox (GP). In brief, the GP states that as microprocessors get bigger, faster and hotter, the companies profits are reduced at a corresponding geometric rate. The solution was provided by a modification of the Gibbs Free Energy equation which is shown below.**

**^G = ^H - T^S**

**The change in free energy of a system (delta G or ^G) is equal to the change in heat content (^H) minus the entropy component (T^S).**

**Modification of this equation provides us with the Gelsinger Free Enterprise Equation:
^G = ^M - C^P**

**Where ^M is the change in MHz the chip can support during it's expected lifetime, C is the cost of producing the chip, and ^P is the change in price of AMD chips after Intel releases the new processor.**

**Therefore, the change in Gelsinger Free Enterprise (delta G or ^G ) is equal to the change in MHz minus the cost of the chip, multiplied by the drop in AMD prices.**

**Gelsinger Free Enterprise is thus a measure of the profits Intel can expect from a particular line of microprocessors. If this equation seems to paint a dim picture for Intel, so be it. Numbers don't lie, people do.**

**John Rodney Moffett, Ph.D.
**

Caps are on their way to you as soon as you tell us where you live, gentlemen. ®

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