Oftel publishes whingers' charter
Or, how to teach your granny to suck eggs
Oftel has produced a guide for companies explaining the best way to complain about possible breaches of licences or the Competition Act.
It appears it is not merely enough to whinge, whine and throw indiscriminate allegations around the place in the hope that the winged watchdog will sit up and take notice.
Instead, the guidelines suggest that the more information that can be provided from the outset about the relevant market and the barriers to entry, the quicker Oftel will respond.
Said David 'Harry Potter' Edmonds, head boy of Oftel: "Companies that believe that they are subject to anti-competitive practices or other illegal behaviour want Oftel to intervene as quickly as possible."
They do, David, they do. But Oftel's track record at swift resolution is not good.
By its own admission, Oftel aims to complete 80 per cent of investigations within six months and all investigations within 12 months.
No doubt it's hoped that the introduction of guidelines on how to complain will speed up the time it takes the winged watchdog to resolve complaints. Just don't hold your breath... ®