Feeds

Tax help for sacked dotcom employees

Warning: Contains funny material

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

The dotcom dream - where young, talentless egotists could pretend they knew more about the world than everyone else and VCs indulged their fantasies for 18 months - has died. Thank god.

Far from creating a new world order where flashy graphics and arrogant enthusiasm was more important than customers for garnering money, it would seem that Josh will have to move back home with his parents and sell his shiny shirt to afford the train fare.

Not everyone is as unforgiving as ourselves though. Those nice people at ThoughtPolice.com have knocked up an Income Tax form for dotcom discardees, entitled "Income Tax Return for Recently Laid-Off Dotcom Employees With No Real Talent or Experience".

Qualify as a dotcom lay-off by admitting "I was recently asked to place all the contents of my cubicle into a cardboard box, and was forced to surrender my ID card and PalmPilot", "my job title included a trendy word like 'guru'" and others.

Working through the form, you are advised your income does not include your stock options "which are currently underwater". Other income includes "unemployment compensation, parental loans you have no intention of repaying and the value of all those free cocktails you slurped during last spring's launch parties".

Line 9 gives the helpful pointer: "You were overpaid. Multiply line 8 by 150 per cent. This is what you get for fucking up the economy for the rest of us."

Work your way through it and write a cheque for the figure at the end. And note that they will not accept "the 1980s coin-op Pac-Man your office bought to show everyone how cool you were".

Enough, already! Click here for the full thing.

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.