Feeds

Now WAP surveys are cwap

Connecting... connecting... connecting

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Today is a great day for the truth ladies and gentlemen. We've already had some light shed on the nonsense spewed out regarding Internet fraud and now it's back to our old friend, the WAP phone.

Through rigid stubbornness, we have managed to stay still while everyone else has come round to the fact that WAP phones are crap. But hang on. A lot of money has been invested in these daft things and you can PR your way out of anything. Can't you?

Well that would certainly explain the huge number of "surveys", "polls" and other nonsense in the last few months that say while WAP phones are indeed crap, people are buying them anyway and so they must good.

It was working too. Until eMarketer decided to make some money by doing a report of the "eWireless" market. To do this, it thought it would just collate previous surveys, find some patterns, write it up and then charge $795 for 241 pages.

And so it checked out 100 research organs and checked over its figures. And it discovered... absolutely no connection between them all whatsoever. In other words, everyone was making it up as they went along.

Euro Trade magazine noted the discrepancy and called up eMarketer's wireless analyst, Paul Mulligan. He made his views pretty clear. "Researchers are pulling their numbers out of thin air based on hot air," he said.

Paul also makes the point that mobile companies have grown so used to creating facts that they have even started talking about the number of 3G users they will have. "Now, we have researchers projecting usage numbers for things that don't even exist yet - like 3G services. They might as well be telling us how many people will drive wheel-less cars in 2007."

Which is all a refreshing breath of sanity. In the same way that documentary makers gradually persuaded themselves that it was okay to lie and project fiction as fact, so marketing folk have grown so used to the image being the reality that they have forgotten some basic truths.

By the way, WAP phones are still rubbish and 3G phones are years off and actually won't make your life any better.

As for the rest of the report. You can either part with $800 or know that wireless Internet users are expected to quadruple in the next four years, that half the money from such phones are expected to come from shopping, that the US is getting more advanced phones, the Europeans love text messaging and the Japanese think i-Mode is the dog's rollocks. ®

Related Links

ET Mag
eMarketer's report

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Docker's app containers are coming to Windows Server, says Microsoft
MS chases app deployment speeds already enjoyed by Linux devs
IBM storage revenues sink: 'We are disappointed,' says CEO
Time to put the storage biz up for sale?
'Hmm, why CAN'T I run a water pipe through that rack of media servers?'
Leaving Las Vegas for Armenia kludging and Dubai dune bashing
'Urika': Cray unveils new 1,500-core big data crunching monster
6TB of DRAM, 38TB of SSD flash and 120TB of disk storage
Facebook slurps 'paste sites' for STOLEN passwords, sprinkles on hash and salt
Zuck's ad empire DOESN'T see details in plain text. Phew!
SDI wars: WTF is software defined infrastructure?
This time we play for ALL the marbles
Windows 10: Forget Cloudobile, put Security and Privacy First
But - dammit - It would be insane to say 'don't collect, because NSA'
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.