Feeds

Gates: the earth moved for me

Billy Boy's speech interrupted by God

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Remote control for virtualized desktops

Bill Gates had his speech to the movers and shakers in Seattle's IT world interrupted yesterday by a 6.8 earthquake. According to witnesses, he took it well and calmly walked off the stage, where minders led him to some kinda underground nuclear bunker so God couldn't get at him.

The quake caused mayhem, taking out power supplies and putting Washington State into a state of emergency. One person was killed and 100 injured, eight seriously. Damage is extensive but considering the size of the quake, things could have been far worse. Oh, and the Capitol dome developed a crack.

But back to Bill. Fortunately for him, us and software developers everywhere he remain unharmed.

Rumours abounded that God has decided to make his feelings known about the current MS/DoJ trial. Seeing as man is still incapable of breaking up the dictionary definition of an abusive monopolist, it would seem that Our Father (who art in heaven) thought he would chivvy them along.

MS' headquarters felt the warning shot but staff were still able to send one another electronic messages telling each other that they were doing good for mankind. The crack in the Capitol building was also seen as a sign that the big G didn't like the fact that elected representatives of "God's people" - as Americans are often known to call themselves - had prostituted themselves for idols not made in his image, namely, money.

However, a Microsoft spokesgoblin said: "We are happy to announce that following a short phone call between Il Duce Bill Gates and His Highness, He [God] confirmed that the quake was meant for George W Bush and apologised for any inconvenience caused." ®

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Managing SSL certificates with ease
The lack of operational efficiencies and compliance pitfalls associated with poor SSL certificate management, and how the right SSL certificate management tool can help.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.