Bill Gates had his speech to the movers and shakers in Seattle's IT world interrupted yesterday by a 6.8 earthquake. According to witnesses, he took it well and calmly walked off the stage, where minders led him to some kinda underground nuclear bunker so God couldn't get at him.

The quake caused mayhem, taking out power supplies and putting Washington State into a state of emergency. One person was killed and 100 injured, eight seriously. Damage is extensive but considering the size of the quake, things could have been far worse. Oh, and the Capitol dome developed a crack.

Rumours abounded that God has decided to make his feelings known about the current MS/DoJ trial. Seeing as man is still incapable of breaking up the dictionary definition of an abusive monopolist, it would seem that Our Father (who art in heaven) thought he would chivvy them along.

MS' headquarters felt the warning shot but staff were still able to send one another electronic messages telling each other that they were doing good for mankind. The crack in the Capitol building was also seen as a sign that the big G didn't like the fact that elected representatives of "God's people" - as Americans are often known to call themselves - had prostituted themselves for idols not made in his image, namely, money.

However, a Microsoft spokesgoblin said: "We are happy to announce that following a short phone call between Il Duce Bill Gates and His Highness, He [God] confirmed that the quake was meant for George W Bush and apologised for any inconvenience caused." ®