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Dead-baby muncher pic spawns police inquiry

Like Bonsai Kitten, only worse (better?)

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A picture of a man apparently dining with gusto on a roasted baby at the rotten.com Web site has led to a police inquiry by Scotland Yard and the FBI, according to a horrifying story by The Independent.

"British detectives are trying to close a Web site showing pictures of a man eating a dismembered baby, further evidence of the extent of child abuse and exploitation published on the Internet," Independent health editor Jeremy Laurance explains.

Evidence of child abuse? Evidence of doll's-head-and-duck's-carcass abuse is more like it.

"Detective Inspector Clive Driscoll, a specialist in paedophile crimes, said he was working with colleagues in the US to track the origin of the picture of the man eating the baby," the paper says.

According to Driscoll, "the pictures are awful. It is your worst nightmare unfolding in front of you. I took them to a very senior forensic pathologist - a man I have a lot of faith in - and he looked me in the eye and said: 'These are the pictures I hoped I would never see.'"

"For me it's a murder scene because I don't know how that child died," the so-called detective says.

Well, we'll tell you how she died. Someone took a screwdriver and pried her plastic head from her plastic body, basted it with HP brown sauce and stuck it on the remains of a roasted duck carcass.

And if that's not enough, consider that the happy diner is drinking orange juice, an impossible combination and clear tip-off that the image is fake. And this guy calls himself a detective?

No one in his right mind would dream of enjoying such a rare delicacy without an equally rare and delicate accompaniment, such as a mature Chambertin (we think the characteristically Burgundian lightness of body and refreshing acidity, combined with the extra fruit up front, makes it the ideal roast baby compliment, especially if Junior were stuffed with a mixture of wild rice, foie gras de petit enfant and black walnuts, flavoured, we would suggest, with dried cranberries and fresh rosemary, and a scant splash of Kirschwasser).

Interestingly, the rotten.com site admins say they haven't been contacted by anyone in authority.

"You can imagine our surprise when we read that rotten.com was being investigated by the FBI, on the front page of the UK newspaper The Independent. Apparently someone at Scotland Yard decided to 'close the Web site' after he saw some pictures that upset him," the admins say.

It all makes sense when we learn that "the existence of the Web site was revealed by two patients at the Clinic for Dissociative Studies based in London's Harley Street and run by Valerie Sinason, a psychotherapist who specialises in the treatment of adult survivors of child abuse".

Valerie Sinason, we are told, is convinced that child abuse is the dastardly, ritualistic consequence of widespread Satan-worship.

The rotten.com site is well worth a visit. They're mirroring Bonsai Kitten for those who missed it, and you can see anti-porn crusader Donna Rice's tits, which aren't half bad. ®

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