Feeds

Pedants on parade

Some mothers do 'ave 'em

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

The road of humour can be a hard and lonely one. No-one knows that better than our very own misunderstood Kieren McCarthy.

When the poor lad wrote the recent Woman gets mobile phone stuck up back orifice, little did he know that within eight hours he'd be reduced to a jibbering wreck. The reason? Read on...

The first mistake he made when confronted with this chuckle-inducing tale of colonic catastrophe was to ask the art department for a quick picture.

This was duly supplied, cobbled together from a real x-ray and a snap of the offending Nokia 8550. Despite the frivolous tone of the article, the fact that the photo was obviously faked and that the alternative text read "Artist's impression of what doctors might have seen", it was only minutes before Simon Marshall spotted something awry:

Uh-uh, that picture looks pretty fake to me. Or would you expect an x-ray picture of a mobile phone to look suspiciously identical to a visible-light picture of one? Including the image on the lcd display?

An easy mistake to make. It's not as if the Reg makes a habit of running humour-based stories. And if that's true, then we ourselves must be the victims of a hoax. Time to start reading the job ads, according to Richard Fane:

It might have been easier to believe if you didn't include that x-ray. While the human skeleton is certainly an x-ray, the image of the phone is obviously a photograph. It has shadows and everything. If the phone were x-rayed then you'd expect to see the outline of the circuit board, the transducers and the batteries and not much of the plastic.

If it's a joke that's fine. But if you were taken in by that doctored image then you should reconsider your choice of careers.

By this time we were reconsidering - really. When we reached pedantic email number 236, we decided that decisive action was required.

Kieren then posted an addendum to the article under the heading 'Please read this if you are simple'. This contained a full explanation of the provenance of the said picture, an explanation as to its humourous purpose, and an animated 'JOKE ALERT' gif for good measure. End of story? Wrong.

It must be said that if Tom Kirk did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him:

At the bottom you state: "Incidentally, our technical correctness is indisputable. That is an X-ray of the relevant area. The phone actually is the Nokia 8550 and that is sort of the position that the phone would have been in, although probably not in such a beautifully posed way."

Technically, it is the correct area and phone. However, if you are claiming technical correctness, shouldn't it be an x-rayed phone too?

The last time we saw Kieren, he was sitting in a darkened room sobbing quietly into his hands. We hope you're all satisfied.

Remote control for virtualized desktops

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Useless 'computer engineer' Barbie sacked in three-way fsck row
Tale of two lads and wannabe game dev makes for great management material
Microsoft to bring back beloved 1990s super-hit BATTLETOADS!?*
* Or maybe not. It is just a trademark filing, after all
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
The Heartbleed Bug: how to protect your business with Symantec
What happens when the next Heartbleed (or worse) comes along, and what can you do to weather another chapter in an all-too-familiar string of debilitating attacks?
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.