Feeds

Pedants on parade

Some mothers do 'ave 'em

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

The road of humour can be a hard and lonely one. No-one knows that better than our very own misunderstood Kieren McCarthy.

When the poor lad wrote the recent Woman gets mobile phone stuck up back orifice, little did he know that within eight hours he'd be reduced to a jibbering wreck. The reason? Read on...

The first mistake he made when confronted with this chuckle-inducing tale of colonic catastrophe was to ask the art department for a quick picture.

This was duly supplied, cobbled together from a real x-ray and a snap of the offending Nokia 8550. Despite the frivolous tone of the article, the fact that the photo was obviously faked and that the alternative text read "Artist's impression of what doctors might have seen", it was only minutes before Simon Marshall spotted something awry:

Uh-uh, that picture looks pretty fake to me. Or would you expect an x-ray picture of a mobile phone to look suspiciously identical to a visible-light picture of one? Including the image on the lcd display?

An easy mistake to make. It's not as if the Reg makes a habit of running humour-based stories. And if that's true, then we ourselves must be the victims of a hoax. Time to start reading the job ads, according to Richard Fane:

It might have been easier to believe if you didn't include that x-ray. While the human skeleton is certainly an x-ray, the image of the phone is obviously a photograph. It has shadows and everything. If the phone were x-rayed then you'd expect to see the outline of the circuit board, the transducers and the batteries and not much of the plastic.

If it's a joke that's fine. But if you were taken in by that doctored image then you should reconsider your choice of careers.

By this time we were reconsidering - really. When we reached pedantic email number 236, we decided that decisive action was required.

Kieren then posted an addendum to the article under the heading 'Please read this if you are simple'. This contained a full explanation of the provenance of the said picture, an explanation as to its humourous purpose, and an animated 'JOKE ALERT' gif for good measure. End of story? Wrong.

It must be said that if Tom Kirk did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him:

At the bottom you state: "Incidentally, our technical correctness is indisputable. That is an X-ray of the relevant area. The phone actually is the Nokia 8550 and that is sort of the position that the phone would have been in, although probably not in such a beautifully posed way."

Technically, it is the correct area and phone. However, if you are claiming technical correctness, shouldn't it be an x-rayed phone too?

The last time we saw Kieren, he was sitting in a darkened room sobbing quietly into his hands. We hope you're all satisfied.

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.