Feeds

Woman gets mobile phone stuck up back orifice

Ring my ring game goes horribly wrong

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

High performance access to file storage

Updated

Artist's impression of what doctors might have seen

A 20-year-old Taiwanese woman had to have a mobile phone surgically removed from her back passage after a sex game went horribly wrong.

According to a report by PA doctors in Taipei eventually managed to get the phone - a Nokia 8850 - out and said kinky sex games with her boyfriend has led to the rectal rumpus. Why a phone? Well, the vibrate function is definitely thought to have something to do with it. Whose phone? We cannot be sure whether she coveted her own phone or her boyfriend's. Or whether it was damaged in the ordeal (apart from olfactorially)

We believe this is the first public case of a mobile phone being used for such gratification. Well, internally anyway. And advances in miniaturisation have certainly made anal insertion a more practical possibility.

Our resident sexual freak, Dr Ping Reece had this to say over the matter. "She made a good choice in Nokia's 8850. Light, compact and with a smooth finish that will reduce the frictional effects. The vibrate is a good, deep shake as opposed to some modern phones that twitter rather than moan. It also has a slide down panel, which has helped me out with a few difficult extrications, I can tell you." ®

Please read this if you are simple The pic's a joke you half-wit


Now look here. The above picture is something that we knocked up in the office. If you check out the description it says "Artist's impression of what doctors might have seen". Of course it's not a real X-ray. It wasn't even meant to look like a real X-ray. It was a visual gag, a joke. The story, however, is true. Do you see what we've done now?

Incidentally, our technical correctness is indisputable. That is an X-ray of the relevant area. The phone actually is the Nokia 8550 and that is sort of the position that the phone would have been in, although probably not in such a beautifully posed way.

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
HP ArcSight ESM solution helps Finansbank
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.