Feeds

Woman gets mobile phone stuck up back orifice

Ring my ring game goes horribly wrong

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Updated

Artist's impression of what doctors might have seen

A 20-year-old Taiwanese woman had to have a mobile phone surgically removed from her back passage after a sex game went horribly wrong.

According to a report by PA doctors in Taipei eventually managed to get the phone - a Nokia 8850 - out and said kinky sex games with her boyfriend has led to the rectal rumpus. Why a phone? Well, the vibrate function is definitely thought to have something to do with it. Whose phone? We cannot be sure whether she coveted her own phone or her boyfriend's. Or whether it was damaged in the ordeal (apart from olfactorially)

We believe this is the first public case of a mobile phone being used for such gratification. Well, internally anyway. And advances in miniaturisation have certainly made anal insertion a more practical possibility.

Our resident sexual freak, Dr Ping Reece had this to say over the matter. "She made a good choice in Nokia's 8850. Light, compact and with a smooth finish that will reduce the frictional effects. The vibrate is a good, deep shake as opposed to some modern phones that twitter rather than moan. It also has a slide down panel, which has helped me out with a few difficult extrications, I can tell you." ®

Please read this if you are simple The pic's a joke you half-wit


Now look here. The above picture is something that we knocked up in the office. If you check out the description it says "Artist's impression of what doctors might have seen". Of course it's not a real X-ray. It wasn't even meant to look like a real X-ray. It was a visual gag, a joke. The story, however, is true. Do you see what we've done now?

Incidentally, our technical correctness is indisputable. That is an X-ray of the relevant area. The phone actually is the Nokia 8550 and that is sort of the position that the phone would have been in, although probably not in such a beautifully posed way.

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.