Feeds

Torvalds – You've let us down

Worst of all, you've let yourselves down

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Remote control for virtualized desktops

Linus Torvalds = Mould?

Let's face it - last week's motley collection of rhyming slang was enough to have your Pearly King reaching for the valium. It can't get any worse, can it? Oh yes indeedy, as MW Grossmann is about to prove:

Linus is a Finn, which rhymes with (and is how Naathanas say) 'thin' ('Such huge tits on a girl so Torvalds!')

The English pronounciation of his first name, LINE-us, almost rhymes with 'vaginas'[1], so calling someone a 'Torvalds' could be a bit more subtle than using Berkshire Hunt.

The proper pronounciation, LEEN-oos ('oo' as in 'book'), ==> 'between us.' 'Just Torvalds, I kinda like Windows.'[2]

I really ought to stop and go home now.

[1] assonance - getting the rhyme wrong ("Educating Rita")
[2] If it wasn't so bad and didn't need so much support, I'd have to get a real job.

We fully expect, nay demand, that our female readers take umbrage at Mr Grossman's anatomical allusions. Aficionados of rhyming slang might like to add their objections. Want more? Try these out:

Colin Cruikshank: Penguin Meat (Torvalds, like beef tournadoes????)

Geo: Brooding ('I got throughly miffed with the trouble-and-strife, so I sat down, drank a Britney, and did nothing but Linus for the rest of the evening').

Steven Sparks: linus torvalds = sinus trouble? ('I wanted to go for a walk in the park, but i've got some linus which makes it unbearable.')

Right, that's enough. We're taking a baseball bat to the Torvalds rhyming slang seal pup. Thank you and goodnight.

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Managing SSL certificates with ease
The lack of operational efficiencies and compliance pitfalls associated with poor SSL certificate management, and how the right SSL certificate management tool can help.
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.