Feeds

Torvalds – You've let us down

Worst of all, you've let yourselves down

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Linus Torvalds = Mould?

Let's face it - last week's motley collection of rhyming slang was enough to have your Pearly King reaching for the valium. It can't get any worse, can it? Oh yes indeedy, as MW Grossmann is about to prove:

Linus is a Finn, which rhymes with (and is how Naathanas say) 'thin' ('Such huge tits on a girl so Torvalds!')

The English pronounciation of his first name, LINE-us, almost rhymes with 'vaginas'[1], so calling someone a 'Torvalds' could be a bit more subtle than using Berkshire Hunt.

The proper pronounciation, LEEN-oos ('oo' as in 'book'), ==> 'between us.' 'Just Torvalds, I kinda like Windows.'[2]

I really ought to stop and go home now.

[1] assonance - getting the rhyme wrong ("Educating Rita")
[2] If it wasn't so bad and didn't need so much support, I'd have to get a real job.

We fully expect, nay demand, that our female readers take umbrage at Mr Grossman's anatomical allusions. Aficionados of rhyming slang might like to add their objections. Want more? Try these out:

Colin Cruikshank: Penguin Meat (Torvalds, like beef tournadoes????)

Geo: Brooding ('I got throughly miffed with the trouble-and-strife, so I sat down, drank a Britney, and did nothing but Linus for the rest of the evening').

Steven Sparks: linus torvalds = sinus trouble? ('I wanted to go for a walk in the park, but i've got some linus which makes it unbearable.')

Right, that's enough. We're taking a baseball bat to the Torvalds rhyming slang seal pup. Thank you and goodnight.

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.