Diamond geezer in trumpet triumph
'Brutish' Telecom takes one in the 'nads
We're always happy to print a story with a happy ending. We just don't get many of 'em. Thanks then to James Fouzie, who will bring a warm primaveral glow to the hearts of millions with this:
I just read your piece on the £900 telephone bill sent to the Curtis family in Cornwall. I recently came through a scrape similar to theirs.
In my case, it was a measly £75 in calls to Romania billed to my London pied-a-terre (read broom cupboard where I crash when in the 'hood). The calls were made when I was not there and could prove it. Even so, Brutish Telecom insisted that someone must have made the calls when I was not there.
I pointed out that no one actually lives there and that, while I might occasionally have, er, visitors there, they are certainly not the kind who get left alone with access to the telephone... No, I had had no house guests.
The one thing that I noticed in dealing with Brutish Telecom was that all of the customer-service types ravver spowke loik viss and could, consequently, not conceive of anyone actually telling the truth. They measure things by the reality of their lives, innit, and, well, the concept of not trying to dodge a bill (pronounced 'biow') does not compute. I let them dig themselves in good and deep (roight) and ven I powed veh carpet out from underneaf 'em. The front door to my building is attended, and it was going to be affidavit city unless their thought process evolved and pronto.
Net result: Bill reversed and a suitable (tangible) expression of their deep regret (at not being able to bluff their way through) If you can contact the Curtis family, they might like to know that, if they persevere, they can even turn a profit.
We know the sort of visitors you mean. Keep an eye on your wallet too mate.