Judging by the letters we get, it seems that some Reg readers have trouble distinguishing the serious from the tongue-in-cheek.

This is not to say that they're thick - just that humour does not always successfully cross international boundaries. Let's face it, we smarmy and sarky Brits will throw in a bit of ironic drollery at the drop of a hat. And if you don't get it, well, that's when unfortunate misunderstandings can occur.

• Droll insinuation will be sage green
• Mild sarcasm will be burgundy
• Smarminess will be ultramarine
• Irony will be lavender
• Flippancy will be sunflower orange
• Biting sarcasm will be pillar box red
• Humour liable to cause offence will be in an insipid yellow which you can only read when you highlight it

Additionally, out-and-out jokes will be preceded by the following graphic warning:

We hope that this clarifies things. Thankyou for your attention. ®