Forget Cockney and Popney, here comes Chipney
How to get Scott McNealy with your Larry Ellison
There have been several recent newspaper reports about the trend to create rhyming slang terms from celebrity names.
For those who are not au fait with the concept, the whole thing is based on Cockney rhyming slang. Here are a few original examples:
- Apples and pears = Stairs
- Rub-a-dub = Pub
- Titfer = Tit for tat = hat
- Berkshire Hunt = Complete idiot.
Now the world of pop music has jumped on the bandwagon and created a 'Popney' lexicon. Frankly it's a bit lame:
- Britney Spears = Beers
- George Michael = Cycle
- Jay Kay = Takeaway, etc., etc.
- Bill Gates = No mates ('He would go out but he's got Bill Gates')
- BT Ignite = Fight ('I was trying to use the phone but the kids kept shouting and it ended in a right BT')
- Silicon chip = Hip ('Like the wheels? Yeah, man, they're well silicon')
- Larry Ellison = Wellies on ('I'm just going out to see the sheep as soon as I've got my Larry Ellison')
- Linux user = Drug abuser ('He lost his job when they found out he was a closet linux')
- AltaVista = wrister ('He seemed all right at first, but then he turned out to be a right altavista')
- P4 = Bore ('Yeah, I met two programmers in the bar and they P4ed me to death')
- Dotcom = Bomb ('I put all of my money into the company and they dotcommed')
- WAP = Crap ('Good match? Nah, it was complete WAP')
- Hewlett Packard = Knackered ('I tried to boot up the computer this morning, but it was completely Hewlett')
- AOL = Bloody hell! ('I got into the office this morning and someone had cybersquatted us. AOL!')
- Ethical hacking = Smacking ('Yeah, I didn't like their mission statement, so I went and gave them a bit of an ethical')
- Mobile phone = Moan ('I was checking out some wicked ringing tones on the train and all the other passengers did was mobile')
- Scott McNealy = Touchy feely (see example below)
Oy, I'm just off to the rub-a-dub for a couple of Britneys and a bit of the old Scott MacNealy with the trouble-and-strife.
Translation: Excuse me, I'm popping down to the pub for two beers and some physical intimacy with my wife. ®
Can anyone think of a term for Linus Torvalds? Damned if we can.