Feeds

Wife exacts revenge over email

Husband has 'extremely small penis'

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

The Essential Guide to IT Transformation

A wife who suspected her husband of foul deeds has humiliated him by sending a vitriolic email from his laptop to his entire contact database. Titled "Time to 'Fess up!", the email - purporting to come from PR company boss Paul Evans - was not exactly subtle.

"I, Paul Owen Evans, am a snivelling, cheating, lying, arrogant little piece of shit. No, that's not right - I'm worse than that: I'm a despicable, deceitful, dodgy, DICKHEAD who doesn't reserve this attitude just for his wife. Oh yes, one more thing - I've got an extremely small penis that couldn't excite a woman's nostril let alone anything else. Thus endeth my confession. Regards. Paul Evans."

We understand that Mrs Evans was not in a good mood (and Mr Evans is none-too-pleased either). Unfortunately, among Paul's contacts were his bosses at Seat, as well those at Volkswagen, industry top-nobs, rally drivers and, of course, contacts and friends.

At the time of the mailing, Paul was attending a big car launch in Barcelona and the first he heard of it was when friends called him up. Mrs Evans was confronted at the family home and admitted she'd sent it to upset him but wouldn't go into any further details.

Again, the power of email has been clearly demonstrated. It was only last month that Claire Swire and Bradley Chait became Net celebrities thanks to their frank discussion over the merits of Bradley's love juice. Now half the country has heard about Paul Evans and his wife's suspicions.

Scary ain't it?

Incidentally, we were very interested to note the different approaches to this story by the Mirror and the Daily Mail. The Mirror blacked out the words "cheating", "lying", "deceitful" and "dodgy". It also starred-out the word "shit" but had no problem with "dickhead" - even though it was in caps. The Mail, on the other hand, had no problem with the non-swear words, but "shit" and "dickhead" had to be replaced by Xs.

Also, while the Mirror reports that Paul looked as if he "didn't have care in the world" when he returned to London yesterday, the Mail reckoned he "struck a forlorn, desperate figure". You could tell he was very upset, apparently. Amazing how a man could be both relaxed and desperate at the same time. ®

Build a business case: developing custom apps

More from The Register

next story
iPad? More like iFAD: We reveal why Apple fell into IBM's arms
But never fear fanbois, you're still lapping up iPhones, Macs
Amazon says Hachette should lower ebook prices, pay authors more
Oh yeah ... and a 30% cut for Amazon to seal the deal
Philip K Dick 'Nazi alternate reality' story to be made into TV series
Amazon Studios, Ridley Scott firm to produce The Man in the High Castle
Nintend-OH NO! Sorry, Mario – your profits are in another castle
Red-hatted mascot, red-colored logo, red-stained finance books
Sonos AXES support for Apple's iOS4 and 5
Want to use your iThing? You can't - it's too old
Joe Average isn't worth $10 a year to Mark Zuckerberg
The Social Network deflates the PC resurgence with mobile-only usage prediction
Chips are down at Broadcom: Thousands of workers laid off
Cellphone baseband device biz shuttered
Feel free to BONK on the TUBE, says Transport for London
Plus: Almost NOBODY uses pay-by-bonk on buses - Visa
Twitch rich as Google flicks $1bn hitch switch, claims snitch
Gameplay streaming biz and search king refuse to deny fresh gobble rumors
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
The Essential Guide to IT Transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIO's automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise.
Maximize storage efficiency across the enterprise
The HP StoreOnce backup solution offers highly flexible, centrally managed, and highly efficient data protection for any enterprise.