Feeds

Wife exacts revenge over email

Husband has 'extremely small penis'

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Security for virtualized datacentres

A wife who suspected her husband of foul deeds has humiliated him by sending a vitriolic email from his laptop to his entire contact database. Titled "Time to 'Fess up!", the email - purporting to come from PR company boss Paul Evans - was not exactly subtle.

"I, Paul Owen Evans, am a snivelling, cheating, lying, arrogant little piece of shit. No, that's not right - I'm worse than that: I'm a despicable, deceitful, dodgy, DICKHEAD who doesn't reserve this attitude just for his wife. Oh yes, one more thing - I've got an extremely small penis that couldn't excite a woman's nostril let alone anything else. Thus endeth my confession. Regards. Paul Evans."

We understand that Mrs Evans was not in a good mood (and Mr Evans is none-too-pleased either). Unfortunately, among Paul's contacts were his bosses at Seat, as well those at Volkswagen, industry top-nobs, rally drivers and, of course, contacts and friends.

At the time of the mailing, Paul was attending a big car launch in Barcelona and the first he heard of it was when friends called him up. Mrs Evans was confronted at the family home and admitted she'd sent it to upset him but wouldn't go into any further details.

Again, the power of email has been clearly demonstrated. It was only last month that Claire Swire and Bradley Chait became Net celebrities thanks to their frank discussion over the merits of Bradley's love juice. Now half the country has heard about Paul Evans and his wife's suspicions.

Scary ain't it?

Incidentally, we were very interested to note the different approaches to this story by the Mirror and the Daily Mail. The Mirror blacked out the words "cheating", "lying", "deceitful" and "dodgy". It also starred-out the word "shit" but had no problem with "dickhead" - even though it was in caps. The Mail, on the other hand, had no problem with the non-swear words, but "shit" and "dickhead" had to be replaced by Xs.

Also, while the Mirror reports that Paul looked as if he "didn't have care in the world" when he returned to London yesterday, the Mail reckoned he "struck a forlorn, desperate figure". You could tell he was very upset, apparently. Amazing how a man could be both relaxed and desperate at the same time. ®

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Ex-US Navy fighter pilot MIT prof: Drones beat humans - I should know
'Missy' Cummings on UAVs, smartcars and dying from boredom
Facebook, Apple: LADIES! Why not FREEZE your EGGS? It's on the company!
No biological clockwatching when you work in Silicon Valley
The 'fun-nification' of computer education – good idea?
Compulsory code schools, luvvies love it, but what about Maths and Physics?
Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...
Opportunity doesn't knock; it costs us instead
Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots
We know what the Doctor does, stop going on about it already
'Cowardly, venomous trolls' threatened with TWO-YEAR sentences for menacing posts
UK government: 'Taking a stand against a baying cyber-mob'
Sysadmin with EBOLA? Gartner's issued advice to debug your biz
Start hoarding cleaning supplies, analyst firm says, and assume your team will scatter
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.