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Husband has 'extremely small penis'

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A wife who suspected her husband of foul deeds has humiliated him by sending a vitriolic email from his laptop to his entire contact database. Titled "Time to 'Fess up!", the email - purporting to come from PR company boss Paul Evans - was not exactly subtle.

"I, Paul Owen Evans, am a snivelling, cheating, lying, arrogant little piece of shit. No, that's not right - I'm worse than that: I'm a despicable, deceitful, dodgy, DICKHEAD who doesn't reserve this attitude just for his wife. Oh yes, one more thing - I've got an extremely small penis that couldn't excite a woman's nostril let alone anything else. Thus endeth my confession. Regards. Paul Evans."

We understand that Mrs Evans was not in a good mood (and Mr Evans is none-too-pleased either). Unfortunately, among Paul's contacts were his bosses at Seat, as well those at Volkswagen, industry top-nobs, rally drivers and, of course, contacts and friends.

At the time of the mailing, Paul was attending a big car launch in Barcelona and the first he heard of it was when friends called him up. Mrs Evans was confronted at the family home and admitted she'd sent it to upset him but wouldn't go into any further details.

Again, the power of email has been clearly demonstrated. It was only last month that Claire Swire and Bradley Chait became Net celebrities thanks to their frank discussion over the merits of Bradley's love juice. Now half the country has heard about Paul Evans and his wife's suspicions.

Scary ain't it?

Incidentally, we were very interested to note the different approaches to this story by the Mirror and the Daily Mail. The Mirror blacked out the words "cheating", "lying", "deceitful" and "dodgy". It also starred-out the word "shit" but had no problem with "dickhead" - even though it was in caps. The Mail, on the other hand, had no problem with the non-swear words, but "shit" and "dickhead" had to be replaced by Xs.

Also, while the Mirror reports that Paul looked as if he "didn't have care in the world" when he returned to London yesterday, the Mail reckoned he "struck a forlorn, desperate figure". You could tell he was very upset, apparently. Amazing how a man could be both relaxed and desperate at the same time. ®

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