TV co-presenter and erstwhile science expert Carol Vorderman has hit the papers today, "lambasting" the Internet industry for "porn apathy". By that she means that "those who make their money from the Internet" should take responsibility for its content. And that means no porn. Ever again. Tut, tut, tut.

Of course, the first question asked at Vulture Central was: who gives a shit what Carol Vorderman thinks? But of course we were forgetting that she has a ghost-written weekly IT section in The Mirror which covers some of the most important and complex aspects of the Internet revolution: like diets and where to buy socks.

The Reg has also been infected with celebrititis (contagious disease: lazy journalists particularly prone) and so have made it a policy that any controversial stories we write are accompanied by a celebrity's deep musings on the subjects. Hence, you all can look forward to the forthcoming stories:

• Les Dennis furious at RIP implications.
  
• Carol Smillie rules on the Microsoft trial.
  
• Mel from Big Brother condemns hackers.
  
• Anthea Turner supports WIPO domain name transfer.
  
• Richard Madeley releases open source encryption software. ®