Dr Spinola's Christmas TV guide
The best yuletide viewing
Christmas Eve: Just Willamette. A new dramatisation of the children's favourite by Richmal Crompton about a troublesome young whippersnapper and the scrapes the little underachiever gets into. Starring Mel Gibson as Craig Barrett.
Christmas Day: Athlon Powers - the chip that shagged Intel. Jerry Sanders reprises his popular role as the cheeky chimp making life a misery for a giant gorilla.
Boxing Day: Thunderbirds are go!. The AMD puppet heroes battle with their arch-enemy, Doctor Grove, as he makes a bid for world domination by threatening to cut their strings.
Third Reich from the Sun A zany group of wacky Nazis disguise themselves as Hasidic Jews to celebrate Hanukkah. Guest-starring Larry Ellison as the big giant head.
The Mask Jim Carrey appears as a geek working in a semiconductor plant. An accident with an ultraviolet laser and the mask for a new Intel processor results in his acting ability developing a number of serious errata.
Mr Bush goes to Washington. Jimmy Stewart plays a loveable Texas halfwit who sets out for the capital of the US. Unfortunately, due to his total lack of geographic knowledge, he ends up in Baghdad, with tragic results.
On the Rambuses. Loveable Cockney rogue bus driver Reg Varney enjoys nothing more than irritating his jobsworth boss until he discovers a talent for litigation and sues the butts off the world's semiconductor industry.
A Fistful of Lawsuits. Cult spaghetti western about a group of misfit Californian cowboys determined to get rich quick by threatening innocent businessmen.
Goodbye Mister Chips. An Intel CEO is sacked for bringing the company to its knees.
Dies Wide Shut. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman star in a steamy saga of the move to 0.13 micron processes.
Caminogate. Two intrepid Spinolas unravel the mystery of the "chipset plumbers" who covered up defects which eventually resulted in the Caminogate scandal.
Hard Day's Night. Four mop-headed semiconductor engineers romp their way through a night shift at the Albuquerque Fab. Contains strong language and scenes of graphic sex.
Gelsinger. Kicking Pat Gelsinger, attempts to conquer the world with the aid of the 386 instruction set. Will 007 (played in this film by former AMD executive Atiq Raza), foil his cunning plans? Soundtrack: My Generation, sung by Pat. ®
Sponsored: Transform Your IT Infrastructure