Feeds

Lies, damned lies and M$ sex kitten press releases

Careful with that press list, Eugene

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

Microsoft's masters and mistresses of spin have been caught red-handed twisting the truth.

The software Satan's PR bunnies issued a press release citing exciting new research that examined the differences in lifestyle between PC and Mac users.

Entitled PC users are more amorous than their Mac cousins, it set about massaging the egos of PC users by saying they were three times more likely than Mac users to go out for a romantic meal, more likely to choose romantic films and were cooler dressers.

Basically the message was: Mac users are uncool and unsexy - you're not, so thank your lucky stars.

But luckily for us, eagle-eyed hacks at Linux Format were on top form and didn't swallow the spin. They spotted that the exact same PR agency had sent out another press release, based on the same 'survey', to sister magazine Mac Format.

But here's what this one said: "It's official. Mac users are not only more cultured than PC users, but they make better lovers too. Who's making these claims? Apple? Actually, it's PC software giant Microsoft."

Of course it was.

The PR agency must surely have got its warrens' wires crossed? In this release it claimed Mac users were best in the sack, and were more likely to be in a relationship and be more attentive to their lover. Basically, they came out on top.

Funny that. The Linux Format hack seemed to sum the situation up pretty well from something they'd heard from a colleague: "All PR stuff is made up from lies, sawdust and wood shavings mixed in warm water, dried in a spin drier and gently toasted in a waffle iron. Eaten, digested and recreated in full in the lavatory pan, before being pressed flat, folded and popped in the post to us merry journalists..."

The full Satanic versions of the press releases can be found at the Maximum PC site. ®

Related Stories

PR bunnies in extinction shock
PR bunnies in Register kit!
PR bunny bites back

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.