Feeds

Dr Spinola's sad babe advice line

Things not to do in Denver if you don't want to be dead

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

Now how many times do I have to tell you - let's be careful out there?

Ladies, it's terribly tempting to accept the offer of an evening out with your favourite local psycho, but you should bear in mind Dr Spinola's top ten tips.

1. If your hunky new boyfriend invites you to climb into an empty oil drum, just say 'no'.
2. Should your newly-acquired paramour ask you if you would mind holding a chainsaw by the sharp end with your knees, our advice would be to say 'no'.
3. If your date asks you to sharpen a number of large, carbon steel knives, make an excuse and leave.
4. Anyone demanding: "design me an i820 mobo, bitch", should be considered to be a very disturbed person.
5. No gentleman would ever ask a lady to take home a large bag of ironing (unless the lady in question is the mother of the gentleman in question.)
6. "How'd ya like this up ya?" Should not be regarded as a terribly positive opening gambit.
7. "I can get you on the radio" sounds quite attractive, but one should consider the possibility of having one's giblets draped across an ancient wireless alongside the potential of having a new broadcasting career opening up before one.
8. Never reply to an Internet lonely heart ad.
9. Never reply to a local newspaper lonely heart ad.
10. If you still crave male company, simply send a large quantity of money and a selection of personal close-ups to Dr Spinola at the usual address. ®

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Advanced data protection for your virtualized environments
Find a natural fit for optimizing protection for the often resource-constrained data protection process found in virtual environments.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.