Feeds

MS appeal: judge ‘whopped us upside the head’

Must be some kind of technical expression

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

In its initial and chief filing with the US Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia, Microsoft illustrates US District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson's single-minded and malicious persecution of the company with a little exemplum:

"I like to tell the story of a North Carolina mule trainer," the court brief quotes Jackson as saying. "He had a trained mule who could do all kinds of wonderful tricks. One day somebody asked him: 'How do you do it? How do you train the mule to do all these amazing things?' He answered, 'Well, I’ll show you.' He took a two-by-four and whopped him upside the head. The mule was reeling and fell to his knees, and the trainer said: 'You just have to get his attention.' I hope I’ve got Microsoft’s attention.'"

Clear evidence, the appellants claim, of deliberate bias.

"In making its findings, which adopted nearly all of plaintiff's factual assertions, the district court ignored vast amounts of uncontradicted evidence submitted by Microsoft on the central issues in the case," the brief continues.

While there are a number of arguments of fact in the brief, the company's rhetorical foundation is built on Judge Jackson's apparent, irrational hatred of the Redmond behemoth.

Jackson's own performances in the glare of national media attention also compromised the company's case, the lawyers argue.

"By repeatedly commenting on the merits of the case in the press," the company argues, "the district judge has cast himself in the public's eye as a participant in the controversy, thereby compromising the appearance of impartiality, if not demonstrating actual bias against Microsoft."

These colourful assertions are bait clearly devised for mass media consumption (on which we certainly couldn't resist nibbling); but Microsoft is risking a PR backlash as the public observes them doing precisely what they accuse Jackson of having done.

Another risk here is the overall displeasure among appellate judges whenever lectured by smart-arsed corporate lawyers to the effect that one of their peers on the district circuit is a creep.

Thus the Jackson broadsides are inserted to distort public opinion in Microsoft's favour -- a standard bit of corporate PR which few in business could have resisted; but now Redmond has to hope that the appeals court won't take offence.

Unfortunately, if the MS legal beagles have blown it, they won't know until the oral arguments commence in February, at which time they may find themselves in legal waters just as hostile as those they encountered on the district circuit.

Or worse, for a deliciously sadistic twist of the knife, the appeals court might order a new trial in front of -- you guessed it -- Judge Jackson and his whopping big two-by-four. ®

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Microsoft WINDOWS 10: Seven ATE Nine. Or Eight did really
Windows NEIN skipped, tech preview due out on Wednesday
Business is back, baby! Hasta la VISTA, Win 8... Oh, yeah, Windows 9
Forget touchscreen millennials, Microsoft goes for mouse crowd
Apple: SO sorry for the iOS 8.0.1 UPDATE BUNGLE HORROR
Apple kills 'upgrade'. Hey, Microsoft. You sure you want to be like these guys?
ARM gives Internet of Things a piece of its mind – the Cortex-M7
32-bit core packs some DSP for VIP IoT CPU LOL
Microsoft on the Threshold of a new name for Windows next week
Rebranded OS reportedly set to be flung open by Redmond
Lotus Notes inventor Ozzie invents app to talk to people on your phone
Imagine that. Startup floats with voice collab app for Win iPhone
'Google is NOT the gatekeeper to the web, as some claim'
Plus: 'Pretty sure iOS 8.0.2 will just turn the iPhone into a fax machine'
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.