The Queen has issued an edict banning Buck House courtiers from carrying mobile phones on duty.

Apparently the sound of Colonel Bogey trilling from some lackey's tailcoat pocket while he's serving the Japanese ambassador proved too much for Her Majesty.

Quite right too, although the idea of the footman's mobe playing The Dambuster's March while Gerhard Schroder's tucking into his roast beef and yorkshire pud is not unnatractive. ®