Feeds

Flood, pestilence and beef sarnies

Enjoy yourselves - it's later than you think

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

7 Elements of Radically Simple OS Migration

Being young and carefree whippersnappers, we at the Reg had never given much thought to our own mortality. Not until, that is, a humble pen reminded us of our own appointment with the grim reaper.

The implement in question is a Microsoft freebie which flashes every time your mobile rings. We decided to take it down London's bustling Oxford Street to see how it responded. Bad idea.

The bloody thing didn't stop blinking until we sealed it in a lead-lined box and threw it in the river. The facts are clear: the air is full of microwave radiation and we're all going to fry.

Unless that is, some other biblical pestilence gets there first.

If you want to die right now, it's simple. Eat a beef sandwich while talking on a mobile phone, smoking a fag and having sex with just about anyone in the world. Preferably in a picturesque cottage on the banks of some British river.

If you don't get AIDS, CJD, lung cancer or a brain tumour, you'll probably drown. If that's too much effort, wait thirty years and an asteroid will hit you.

According to our very own necromancer, Dr Spinoladamus, the only safe place to be is lying on the railway tracks. Sic transit gloria mundi. ®

Boost IT visibility and business value

Whitepapers

7 Elements of Radically Simple OS Migration
Avoid the typical headaches of OS migration during your next project by learning about 7 elements of radically simple OS migration.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Solving today's distributed Big Data backup challenges
Enable IT efficiency and allow a firm to access and reuse corporate information for competitive advantage, ultimately changing business outcomes.
A new approach to endpoint data protection
What is the best way to ensure comprehensive visibility, management, and control of information on both company-owned and employee-owned devices?