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Vulture Central today revealed plans to ensure a continuous supply of precious liquid during the impending fuel crisis.

As we previously reported, severe local shortages around our London offices almost brought the Reg to its knees.

We won't get caught out again. How? We've bought the local pub - lock stock and 200 barrels - and intend to relocate all of the Reg staff to the saloon bar.

Our alcoholic beverages expert, Kieren McCarthy, has calculated that should beer deliveries fail to get through we can hold out for up to a week. However, staff members will be rationed to eight pints per hack per day. This is considered the minimum survival level for your average journo. ®

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