It appears that Reg supremo Linus 'Fish Fingers' Birtles has been acquiring airlines on the quiet.

Through the letterbox dropped a glossy flier from Mind's Eye, a creative marketing communications company. Nothing strange there. Except that the whole thing seems to be a set of safety instructions for BirtlesAir. There's even a picture of Fish Fingers himself, dressed as Biggles and smoking a pipe.

When we finally got hold of Linus on his mobile, he denied the whole thing, breaking off briefly to shout "Heathrow tower this is BirtlesAir flight 666. Get the firetrucks ready, I'm bringing her in..."

Bootnote:
Linus got his nickname due to his intimate knowledge of the fish wholesale business. There's nothing that boy can't tell you about a cushion of cod, believe me.