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Your guide to the best of the week's viewing

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Saturday

Carly's Angels Check out the new series of action adventures as the feisty female scraps products, shrinks cubicle sizes and goes on a shopping spree for executive jets. Watch out for the hilarious cameo appearance by a lone Windows 2000 driver writer.

Sunday

Tom's Midnight Hardware Page A new dramatisation of the children's classic in which young Tom discovers a doorway into a mysterious world of his own.

Monday

Star Trek: Millennium Edition More adventures for the Seattle crew as they battle a deadly Borg nanoprobe email virus. In an unusual plot twist, this episode sees all the female crew members abducted by Species 8479, and it is left to the men to strip to their vests and crawl through the Jeffries tube carrying large weapons whilst sweating in a rather decorous manner.

Tuesday

The Jerry Springer Show This week Jerry's guests include Scott, a top IT executive with a guilty secret - he secretly spends all his money on cosmetic dentistry.

Wednesday

When Rambus lawyers attack! Normally lawyers are shy, retiring creatures, but after intensive RIMMing sessions they can turn into blood-crazed fiends, suing anyone within reach. (Contains strong legal jargon unsuitable for children)

Thursday

Who wants to be a billionaire? Team captains Bill Gates and Larry Ellison are joined this week by guests Paul Allen and Gordon Moore, who reply, "We do".

Friday

Crash David Cronenberg's harrowing film about a group of sick misfits from Adaptec, Microsoft and Apple who get their kicks from watching computers crash.

Saturday

The Simpsons Homer's plans to appear in another series of Intel TV ads come to a nasty end when he is repeatedly stabbed by his distant relative, OJ. Or is he? And whose glove is Maggie playing with? ®

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