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Net washing machine renders women redundant

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It seems like only a hundred years or so ago that we were promised robots that would make domestic drudgery a thing of the past. Finally, we've got them - sort of.

LG Electronics has developed the world's first washing machine which can download wash programmes from the net. Gone are the days when a heavily-stained piece of Uzbeki shot silk would create washday panic. Now, precise cleaning instructions are just a quick surf away. The machine can even be remotely operated via mobile phone. Unfortunately, it seems that you will still have to load and unload the machine yourself, and as for drying... Hey, why not try a line stretched between two poles?

Domestic utopia is clearly still a long way off. To be frank, we at the Reg are having none of it. We intend to stick to tried and trusted technology when it comes to getting our shirts pine-forest fresh.

Something that can be guaranteed to do the job as and when, without breaking down, and without having to be accessed from a bloody WAP phone. It's called the wife. ®

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