Getting talentless tarts to the number one slot has just got harder with the announcement that from 1 October online sales of albums will be included in the UK charts.

Those deemed important enough to be included are Boxman, BOL, Jungle and Audiostreet. It's not a new thing - Sweden and Finland have accounted for the e-consumer for two years - but we imagine music execs are in a frenzy to see how they can fudge Internet sales as well as those in the high street.

Mind you, you will notice that single sales aren't included as yet. Now that would be revolutionary: radio stations would become listenable, TV shows would run low on celebrity guests, tabloids would have to find more real stories and the rate of anorexia in teenage girls would plummet. ®