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Some people are confused and think that the evolution of mankind inevitably leads to equality, freedom and understanding. As we all know, what it really leads to is abject sloth and personal pleasure.

Which is why NTL's announcement that its new digital TV service will include a pizza and beer ordering facility should be applauded for what it is - the greatest advance in man's history since the microwave meal.

Yeah, we know all you have to do is call a pizza delivery place and (if you're a regular customer and live nearby) your local off-licence - but that's not the point. What this means is that you don't have to move off the sofa and you don't have to find any bits of paper. You can watch TV all day. Then, when you get hungry, all you have to do is tap a few details into the remote and grub+booze arrives. There is no reason why you couldn't spend an entire week doing this.

Domino's Pizza and lastorders.com are supplying the food and booze respectively.

Now, all they have to do is work out a way in which you don't have to go and answer the door and we are really talking. ®

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