Feeds

Net flirting guide from fash mag hacks

What the Elle is going on

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

The essential guide to IT transformation

We can confirm that the Internet is now officially trendy, following the appearance of a guide to "E-Flirting" in UK fashion mag, Elle.

Be warned that in the upper echelons of style, smilies have had it. The magazine warns that too many of the little faces made of dots are the electronic equivalent of drawing a flower around the letter i. Other terrible faux pas include TYPING IN CAPITALS and forwarding chain mails to your friends. Well, the things you learn!

But on to the more serious business of netting a man. Keep your messages short and sweet, the style gurus counsel. And heaven forbid you should be the last one to send a message in a rally, he'll think you are desperate.

And if the object of your affection is slow to return a message it couldn't be that he was just busy, it must mean that you are low on his list of priorities. Dump him and get some one who will email you last in a rally and return all your messages within a nano-second.

Of course, it is worth bearing in mind that all this advice comes from a magazine published by a group of people content to spend hundreds of pounds on a pair of shoes that will render the wearer unable to walk. And they probably all own iMacs. ®

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup

More from The Register

next story
6 Obvious Reasons Why Facebook Will Ban This Article (Thank God)
Clampdown on clickbait ... and El Reg is OK with this
Mozilla's 'Tiles' ads debut in new Firefox nightlies
You can try turning them off and on again
No, thank you. I will not code for the Caliphate
Some assignments, even the Bongster decline must
Barnes & Noble: Swallow a Samsung Nook tablet, please ... pretty please
Novelslab finally on sale with ($199 - $20) price tag
Banking apps: Handy, can grab all your money... and RIDDLED with coding flaws
Yep, that one place you'd hoped you wouldn't find 'em
TROLL SLAYER Google grabs $1.3 MEEELLION in patent counter-suit
Chocolate Factory hits back at firm for suing customers
Primetime precrime? Minority Report TV series 'being developed'
I have to know. I have to find out what happened to my life
Netflix swallows yet another bitter pill, inks peering deal with TWC
Net neutrality crusader once again pays up for priority access
prev story

Whitepapers

Top 10 endpoint backup mistakes
Avoid the ten endpoint backup mistakes to ensure that your critical corporate data is protected and end user productivity is improved.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Backing up distributed data
Eliminating the redundant use of bandwidth and storage capacity and application consolidation in the modern data center.
The essential guide to IT transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIOs automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.