We can confirm that the Internet is now officially trendy, following the appearance of a guide to "E-Flirting" in UK fashion mag, Elle.

Be warned that in the upper echelons of style, smilies have had it. The magazine warns that too many of the little faces made of dots are the electronic equivalent of drawing a flower around the letter i. Other terrible faux pas include TYPING IN CAPITALS and forwarding chain mails to your friends. Well, the things you learn!

And if the object of your affection is slow to return a message it couldn't be that he was just busy, it must mean that you are low on his list of priorities. Dump him and get some one who will email you last in a rally and return all your messages within a nano-second.

Of course, it is worth bearing in mind that all this advice comes from a magazine published by a group of people content to spend hundreds of pounds on a pair of shoes that will render the wearer unable to walk. And they probably all own iMacs. ®