Feeds

Competition The Winner of the bullet riddled mobo

You knew we'd get round to it eventually...

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Intelligent flash storage arrays

The Register ran a competition for a reader to win the mobo which Kay Buena shot to pieces.

We are pleased to announce that Julian. J. Jones has won. His entry read:

I deserve to win Kay Buena's motherboard because... no one else does.

Let me qualify that statement by explaining that only child or a moron would actually want a damaged mother board, hence all other people who enter this competition are clearly deranged or pointless individuals who do not deserve to win any prize under any conditions. I on the other hand have fully recognise the futility and stupidity of such a competition and have clearly shown a moral and psychological superiority over all other entrants.

Oh and also I have a great plan to fashion it in to a hat, then wear it while I run around outside during thunder storms in the hopes of being struck by lightning. The result of which will fuse the hardware in to my skull, augmenting my aforementioned intellectual superiority with digital technology I shall become more powerful then you can possibly imagine.

So send it to me or deny the world the wondrous power of my computer brain!!

Now, we need to explain that the first paragraph in which Julian extols his own virtues was not the clincher. No, in fact it was his proposed cybernetics experiment and the promise of photographic evidence of the hat, once constructed, which won us over.

In fact, Julian has even promised to alter his Last Will and Testament, allowing us first dibs on his charred corpse should his encounter with a lightning bolt prove fatal.

Good for you Julian. The motherboard is all yours.

Honourable mentions will get a T-shirt.

As for the funeral song, there was only one possibility: Dan Edwards, who suggested Rage against the Machines's "Killing in the name of..."

Congratulations to our winners, and thanks for all the entries. ®

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Driving business with continuous operational intelligence
Introducing an innovative approach offered by ExtraHop for producing continuous operational intelligence.
Why CIOs should rethink endpoint data protection in the age of mobility
Assessing trends in data protection, specifically with respect to mobile devices, BYOD, and remote employees.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Protecting against web application threats using SSL
SSL encryption can protect server‐to‐server communications, client devices, cloud resources, and other endpoints in order to help prevent the risk of data loss and losing customer trust.