Feeds

Sexed-up

It's only take one little pic and the saliva starts

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup

[We explained to you all that since we had ordered so much new merchandising stock that we ruined our cash flow. If none of you bought any of it, we realised we'd have to throw Lucy out on her ear. We got a photo of her as she was told the news. Far from being sympathetic to the soon-to-be-broke Lucy though, the mere sight of a woman was enough to send you into a frenzy. We're ordering some bromide for you next week.]

Click here to save Reg hack's job

I don't really need any t-shirts at the moment, but would a date with the beautiful Lucy be possible? I'm a really fun guy, I'm not a psycho, stalker, murderer, rapist, arsonist, hacker, paedophile, or any other bad things. And I can supply pictures and references if needed...

John



Tough. Kick Lucy out. Then she'll have to come live with me... fwooarh.



Paul Ross



It'd be a horrible shame to see Lucy out on the streets, begging for change, or perhaps selling her charms to lonely, overworked, under-stimulated IT staffers (could one make a speciality of that?)



I would first like to propose that she be put to work setting up the e-commerce service, through which I could more easily help pay her salary! I'm not an expert in the matter, but I do know that most of the spam I get advertises services to help one accept credit cards, so I expect that there are a number of vendors that'd be happy to help.

If that's still not in the cards, please be so kind as to ship her over to the States. Many companies, like mine, would most readily hire any computer literate person with the right skills (ie., respirating!).

Should that still not work out, she can find a very comfortable life as a homeless person in nearby Ann Arbor, where the students are easy pickings, and the liberals fall all over each other funding and building homeless shelters.



Ye Gods, Where does the

Reg

find so many lovely ladies? Young Ms. Lucy's way too cute to be surplused... My check's in the mail! <G>



Laird Cummings



If I understand the dilemma correctly, the

Reg

has simply overspent a little. So Lucy is the unlucky young lady that will bear the brunt of this error. Well, I may have a solution for you folks there at my favorite news source. I may be able to put together some funds for an emergency purchase.



How much for young Lucy? Depending on her qualifications and demeanor I could find some work for her here in the States. I don't mean to imply slavery": that would be wrong. Indentured servitude, I think our ancestors called it.

Chad Holbrook



Had I known that Lucy was gorgeous, I would have bought stuff a long, long time ago. Now, I have to fork over my credit cards! =)



Nick

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay
Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
prev story

Whitepapers

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup
IT departments are embracing cloud backup, but there’s a lot you need to know before choosing a service provider. Learn all the critical things you need to know.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.
Rethinking backup and recovery in the modern data center
Combining intelligence, operational analytics, and automation to enable efficient, data-driven IT organizations using the HP ABR approach.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.