Yee-haw, Yankees get a-fiesty
Hot diggady darn dem Register limeys
[This being the IT industry, a lot of the articles we write concern the US. And it being the US, we are occasionally faced will appalling examples of what that big ole country can kick out. Refusing to do anything but attack any examples of poor human behaviour, we therefore invariably print negative comments about you lovely American citizens. The vast majority take it with the humour intended but we also have a thing here at Vulture Central where we wait for the headcase redneck to email whenever such a story goes up. This one was sparked by the Letters page last week]
"Andrew is off on strange wanderings in deepest darkest America. He picked up a copy of USA Today and felt that familiar shot of agony when he realised what we could become. Lowest common denominator doesn't even come into it[.]"
(I took the liberty of correcting your puctutation [we swear to God that was how it was misspelt on the email]. Or do you prefer to spell it "punctuasion" or some such nonsense?)
After reading this and many of your other simple-minded slights against my country and those of us who live here, I have finally been driven to the point of dropping you a note to tell you that you're a real asshole.
Normally I refrain from writing unless I believe I have something useful to offer, but you are such a perfect example of the stereotypical pompous Brit bastard, I finally had to take a shot at a new Flame of the Week with you in my gunsights. I can't imagine how you can be so proud to come from a country largely known for its nightmarish tooth decay, prodigious consumption of organ meats, and the unique distinction of having gained then pissed away control of most of the planet.
The true "familiar shot of agony" comes when I see your name in a by-line.
Have a nice day,
Check out more smoking letters at The Vulture Central Mailbag ®
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