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BT dreams of long hot summer

What, no seasons of mists and mellow fruitfulness?

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

BT has confirmed that global warming has already had an impact on the Earth and is responsible for shifting the seasons in the temperate zone of the northern hemisphere.

There are also real fears that Autumn could become a thing of the past and may even disappear altogether.

This shock revelation - which you won't find in tomorrow's edition of the New Scientist - follows the telco's announcement today that the BTopenworld consumer service (USB) will be "launching later this summer".

Yet, Marc Deschamps, COO of broadband at BTopenworld, has already gone on the record to say that the USB service will be available by "October or November". Indeed, Deschamps even admitted that the USB version was still not ready to be rolled out.

This difference in timing can only mean one of two things. Either BT is dishing out false and misleading information in a bid to disguise the botch it's made of launching ADSL, or the impact of global warming is worse than we feared.

Thankfully, Colin Donnelly, a spokesman for the Met Office, allayed fears of imminent climactic change.

He said: "We class summer as June, July and August - October and November are absolutely not 'summer'."

Which is a relief for weather watchers, but not so hot for BT's credibility in the truth stakes, eh? ®

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