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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

A floating power plant is being shipped to the San Francisco Bay to shore up the region's perilous Internet Economy.

In record-breaking temperatures last month, Bay Area dot.coms were forced to shut up shop as California's power utility PG&E instituted a series of rotating power cuts. Power-sapping air conditioning was largely to blame. The outages prevented workers at Internet start-ups from their duties of forwarding joke emails, creating lewd Flash trailers for friends, and firing Nerf Darts.

But thanks to a 95 megaWatt floating generator powered by jet turbines, such mission-critical activity can continue without interruption, according to the San Francisco Chronicle. The paper reports that on its arrival the barge will be greeted by environmental protestors, who say the barge fails to meet pollution controls introduced in the 1970s.

"It's outdated, polluting technology," according to Bradley Angel, executive director of Greenaction. "And the plant would be used only on the days when air quality would be worst."

However with the Bubble Economy at peril until the Barge's arrival in early August, PG&E is pressing on regardless. Ladies and gentlemen, and goateed doodz: you only have your Nerf Darts to lose... ®

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