Mutant Watch registry hacked, McCarthyite Senator says
Months of snitch-work up in smoke
The Mutant Watch Web site has been attacked by activists bent on destroying its registry, site spokesman and neo-McCarthyite busybody 'Senator Kelly' is reported to have said.
"Last night, these cowards hacked through Mutant Watch security. They defaced my personal likeness (which I don't mind) but more importantly, they deleted the entire Mutant Registry database, containing the names of hundreds of thousands of known and suspected mutants... Ask yourself this chilling question: what are they trying to hide?" Kelly said, according to a story posted on Countdown (which includes its own Senator Kelly 'Hate Watch' archive).
Mutant Watch is a brilliant, seemingly straightforward hate site, set up as a promo for X-MEN the movie by the Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation, through which the loony US Senator rants about the insidious danger to American families posed by a growing number of mutants in our ranks, and leaning for support on numerous half-assed 'scientific studies' by, for example, the US "Center [sic] for Disease Control", and several 'scientific experts' no one has heard of who claim that genetic mutations are on the rise.
"The genetic heritage given to us by our Creator has been contaminated, with tragic consequences. There is a growing number of individuals out there who are impure at their most basic level. They are not, technically speaking, human," the Senator warns.
"The threat that these individuals pose to our way of life cannot be underestimated. It touches every facet of our daily lives. And unless we take a stand now, our children will face an uncertain future where the rules of the game are dictated by genetic aberrations. A world where no place is safe: not your home, not your bank, not even the sanctity of your own mind."
The site features a quiz for visitors to determine if they too might be mutants, including such telltale signs as a tendency to experience déjà vu or to excel in sport. Those who get a high score are warned that "the Genetically Pure Patriot Brigade will be in contact [with them] soon".
On another page visitors are invited to snitch on suspected mutants, using supporting evidence chosen from drop-down menus including such observations as:
"The individual in question has a tendency to:
a. change personalities at will
b. appear and disappear unexpectedly
c. diffuse tense situations"
And so on, in a well-played tongue-in-cheek manner. It's quite good craic indeed. We rather hope the movie will turn out half as good. ®