Modern Urbanists responsible for male menopause
IT's a sorry tale that just gets worse and worse
Modern Urbanists are being blamed for the onset of the "male menopause" in middle-aged men.
A Christian conference in Plymouth will be told today that young, IT savvy, whizz kids are piling on the pressure for forty-somethings - just by being there.
The result is an "unhealthy obsession" with these techie-literate Modern Urbanists, a phobia that can bring on depression, diminished libido, alcohol and nicotine dependency, and insomnia.
Other symptoms include wanting to hang out with younger people and the desire to wear youth fashion. Men may also want to wear a sarong.
The findings underlying this disturbing phenomena - called "cyberphobia" - are being delivered by Professor George Lotter, director of counselling at Potchefstroom University in South Africa.
He believes men will only be saved if the Church - and women - work together to help ease the torment, according to the Times.
Unfortunately for Professor Lotter, it appears someone has already coined the term "cyberphobia", meaning the fear of computers/Internet/technology (delete as appropriate).
Modern Urbanists are described as between 18-35 years old, mobile socialisers and technology sophisticates, united by brands and media whose values fit with their own.