breathe suffers asthma attack

Warning: story can only be read by Modern Urbanists

breathe - the style-conscious ISP - has run out of puff.

After jumping on the all-you-can-eat-unmetered-Net-access bandwagon in March the ISP has now pulled the offer.

As of June 16, breathe no longer offers unmetered Net access for £50.

The reason, it seems, is that breathe now has attracted 50,000 users, each of whom was prepared to part with fifty quid, and it doesn't want anymore.

While this may shock some people - reports about breathe's service have been reasonably favourable after all - it may also be a blessing for anyone who fails to live up to the ISP's distinctive profile and brand.

Apparently, the company is only interested in 'Modern Urbanists'.

"Part of the brand development strategy has been to gain leadership amongst a carefully defined, high-value target audience who by nature and lifestyle are inclined towards breathe's services," trills a highly designed breathe statement.

"breathe's target audience represents the core of the future modern technology market. They are 18-35 years old and are mostly active mobile socialisers and technology sophisticates, united by brands and media whose values fit with their own. They are breathe's 'Modern Urbanists'."

If, like me, you are neither "modern" or "urban" (or maybe you only possess one of these traits and not the other) then click here to discover the day in the life of this new social animal. ®

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