Feeds

Dr Spinola's PR masterclass

Listen up, all you bunnies

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Security for virtualized datacentres

Lesson One – the Press Release

Writing a press release is very nearly the worst job in the world [Yeah, and reading the bloody things is the worst – Ed]. But if you follow Dr Spinola's simple rules, you just can't go wrong.

Words and phrases to avoid

Under no circumstances ever use any of the following expressions:
Leverage
Core Competencies
Mission
Set to Explode
Aggressive
Synergy
Headquartered
Groundbreaking
Larry Ellison
Solution provider
Small but fast-growing
Proactive
i820 chipset
World class
Dynamic

Words and phrases to include in every release

Please let us know your required bribe level
The press conference will be held in Antigua

Write two copies of the release

The first is for use in the interminable internal clearance procedure; the second contains information useful to working journalists. This way everyone is happy – the MD fondly imagines his input has been included and hacks don't have to wade through the piffle he insists on including.

Write a snappy headline

Which of the following headlines works best?
"Intel to launch new router"
"Intel to give Cisco a good shafting"

Know when a release is not appropriate

Most companies issue far too many releases. You are a PR professional. If the boss demands you issue a release, don't be afraid to tell him he's wrong. When he sacks you, there are always plenty of vacancies in IT PR. ®

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.