Feeds

Ellison: I'll get you, Gates

Laughing Larry refuses to say die

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Larry Ellison refuses to let his indescribably unpopular network computer (NC) concept rest in peace. Despite being greeted with a tidal wave of apathy when first announced four years ago, Larry's one man crusade to single-handedly destroy the entire Wintel PC industry [Surely 'launch a cheap, limited function computing device' ? - Ed] is about to enter a new phase with the launch of New Internet Computer Co. NIC is owned by local San Francisco man Mr L. Ellison, and the company will today unveil a $199 machine that is capable of doing little other than send email, surf the Web and get up Bill Gates' nose. Larry is currently in the running for the world's richest man title as a result of the M$ share price slump and will be putting his money where his mouth is (lucky he has an awful lot of money) by giving away 1,100 of the dinky devices to local schools. Initially the box will be aimed at the education market, but former TV presenter Gina Smith, New Internet Computer's chief executive, said: "When we come out with a consumer computer later this year it will be the easiest to use machine on the planet." Smith admits that NIC is the second version of an idea that already failed. Ellison tried to replace personal computers with $500 NCs back in 1996. Unfortunately, conventional PC prices shortly dropped to the same level, making the NC about as popular as a fart in a crowded lift.

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
Facebook, Apple: LADIES! Why not FREEZE your EGGS? It's on the company!
No biological clockwatching when you work in Silicon Valley
'Cowardly, venomous trolls' threatened with TWO-YEAR sentences for menacing posts
UK government: 'Taking a stand against a baying cyber-mob'
Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots
We know what the Doctor does, stop going on about it already
Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...
Opportunity doesn't knock; it costs us instead
Arab States make play for greater government control of the internet
Nerds told to get lost in last-minute power grab bid at UN meeting
Zippy one-liners, broken promises: Doctor Who on the Orient Express
Series finally hits stride, but Clara's U-turn is baffling
Don't bother telling people if you lose their data, say Euro bods
You read that right – with the proviso that it's encrypted
Apple SILENCES Bose, YANKS headphones from stores
The, er, Beats go on after noise-cancelling spat
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.